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Starting Over

How do you start over in somewhere new? 

That is what I just did at the age of 52.  When I was 21 I went to Hawaii for a two week vacation to visit my Grandfather for his birthday.  My best friend of mine was suppose to come with and decided she was going to St. Croix instead with her boyfriend.  So I decided if I like Hawaii I will figure out a way to stay. I honestly did not think it would happen.   After spending time with my grandparents in Maui, I went over to visit my Aunty and Uncle and Aunty on Oahu.  Toward the end of my vacation they said if I wanted to stay I can live with them until I get on my feet.   How exciting and nerve racking at the same time.

Once I made my decision and I missed my return flight I felt reality hitting and somewhat lost.  I really did not know anyone except for the family I just met two weeks before.  They lived in the country which I was not accustomed too.  It was a hard adjustment and all I wanted to do was give up and go home.  Then my sister and her husband decided they wanted to move here too.  So they moved here six months after I did.

Once I got a job and met people I never looked back and had such a great time on the island.  There were times through the years I thought I want to move back to New York but did not know how to leave the island, I came to truly love.  I moved so many times around Oahu until I moved over to Kaua’i.  July 2017 made 31 years living in Hawaii.   I waited till my anniversary date to take the next step and move to the mainland.

After my daughter left for the military I thought to myself I am ready to move but I just did not know where.  I really did not want to go back to New York even though my friends and family are there.  I I made a life in Hawaii and my friends and family was here too.  All I knew is I just wanted to be with my kids.

Once my daughter got settled and found a place that she liked I would consider moving near her.   After her active duty she decided to go into the Reserves..  She got stationed in Washington State.  She lived in Washington for a year as an active soldier and decided she really liked living in Washington State.  So she asked if I would be willing to move to there.  The last time I was in Washington was when I was pregnant with her 24 years ago.

We came to visit this past Christmas.  And my son came on his own for two weeks.   And after some time visiting and seeing that my son really wanted to be close to his sister I thought, it was time.  Once I made the decision I knew I was ready.  I could see myself somewhere else, and not on the island.  That never happened before.  That is when you know you are ready, something just clicks.

Moving is stressful especially after living in the same place for so long.  I think it was easier as a young naïve girl but now with kids and animals it was a difficult decision.  The idea of moving to a new State was exciting, and scary at the same time because of so many unknowns.  Then there was leaving my sister and nieces.  That was the hardest decision.  I would have loved to bring them with but they are not ready to leave.  Even though my sister understood why I was leaving, it still was so hard to say goodbye to her, my nieces, and my friends.

The cost to move, and packing was no fun but I did clean out so many things.  I love that I am in a new city with so many stores, and places to explore.  That is so exciting.  Then there is the change of weather.

To think I haven’t seen Fall in 31 years.  Look at what I was missing.  What a pretty leaf.  Can’t wait to see the colors change on the trees.  It is so exciting.  This picture was taken on the table that I refurbished.  As an artist and crafter I immediately started thinking of all the things I could make with these leaves.

Now that I am here and been here for a couple of weeks, now what?  I have some unpacking to still do, my work is now done remotely, my schooling is almost finished, I have to get my son in school, and then I need to figure out what I want to do to get some time outside the house.  I gather once I start doing craft fairs again I will meet people and hopefully create friendships but the thought of starting over in a big city, so different from being on a small island just scares me.  Will I start feeling lonely?  Will I decide to get a job elsewhere just to get out of the house?  Will I love working remotely?  I know I love being at home and the thought of working from it is exciting but in a new city where I know no one is different.  If I still lived in Hawaii working from home would have been perfect.

So many unknowns in my future.  It is exciting and it makes me very nervous at the same time.  However this is a great chance to make a better life for myself and my family.  I achieved so much in Hawaii and now I can see such a better future for me here.

You will know when you are ready to move, you can feel it in your gut.  Once you make the decision like I did, remember that you are creating new beginnings, a fresh start, and a new future.  I do believe that change must happen for us to continue to grow.  Its ok to be nervous but know that is temporary.  Settling in will take time but it is all worth the wait.

Continue to dream big, reach for the stars, and make what you want happen.

Manifest your goals, see it happen…..and only you can make that goal a reality!

Doreen~

 

 

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