On the path to finding my voice I realized that taking inventory was part of the journey. This took time because I was afraid of what I would find out. Being honest with myself was something I neglected to do for so many years, so why start now?
The answer was why not!
My life was a mess and I needed to do something about it. I wanted to get myself out of this situation and I needed to learn why I was in it. Self discovery is going to be one of the hardest things to face. But it is important for us to learn what makes us tick. I knew I wanted to find my voice so the most logical step was to take inventory to get to know me.
The first thing I decided to do was forgive myself. Forgive myself for making wrong choices that kept me in such a toxic relationship. Forgive myself for being so vulnerable. Forgive myself for the rage and anger that I would spew out because i was not happy. I am human with faults and I accept that. I needed to be brutally honest with myself.
I started a journal to help me through this process. In the beginning I found myself leaving certain things out of my journal. My reasoning was if I wrote it, it became real, and I did not want to accept certain things.
Its like keeping a diet journal but not writing down that I took a bite out of a snicker bar. Haha….have you ever done that? Been there done that. It’s only a bite not worth mentioning. Well I am here to say yes it is extremely important. I did write in more detail after I left my situation and when I needed to get something off my chest. It helped me in so many ways and it was okay that I did not write in it everyday. Taking inventory is a process, a journey, and a way to face reality about oneself. Why not take baby steps!
As you can see I have multiple journals that I write in regularly. I love love books. Any excuse to buy a book I am making another purchase. Hahaha…It makes me happy so why not buy another book. OK that is another story. Haha. Squirrel!
Years ago my journal was with me when I needed it most. It was hard to write certain things because I did not want people to find it. So instead I wrote in code so I would be the only one to interpret it when found. Sad yea, totally not healthy! Ha…. More like scared. I did not want to truly face my reality. As long as I did not put it on paper it was not real. Who was I fooling? Me!!! It is time to ask the hard questions so I can finally let go. The only way to do that is to be completely honest with myself and not leave anything out. It is all important. Does that make sense?
Taking inventory will help you learn about your likes, dislikes, why your happy or sad, and what makes you tick. These days I love my life. It has been a real long time since I shed a tear over life. This must mean I am on the right path to self-discovery. I owe it all to taking inventory. Will you join me on the path?